He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
