Whod you bang
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just forgot I was standing up.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
