talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
