well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
