Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
