u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
