Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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