You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
