redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
