A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm both gender and math confused
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
