Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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