You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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