Your mouth is God's brothel.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
