I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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