Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We don't watch enough power rangers
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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