i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
