I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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