You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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