i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Randomize
