Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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