Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
