drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
