just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
