Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
