Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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