the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
