I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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