Define "chronic" masturbator.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
