Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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