i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
