Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
