I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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