Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
