I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
