you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
His nipple licking is glorious
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