She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
