the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
