Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if you like me you must not know who I am
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
