And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
