Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
