Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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