Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
