Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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