I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
