walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
