Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
