Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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