this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
