Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
