Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
